26 January 2018

Chota Shakespeare

I have always wanted to give an award receiving speech. It's a different matter that I will probably never receive an award. But as the widely popular TV series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. has proved, some of us practice giving these speeches. You've been forewarned. This post is going to be a speech. There's no award. But there's an achievement. This blog has turned 10!

My worst best friend Ahana remarked that the only constant in my life has been my writing. Seeing this blog clock 10 long years, I can't agree more. Over the last decade, I have worked multiple jobs, received multiple degrees, found and lost multiple friendships and relations, travelled to various countries and what not. Yet, this blog and my writing have stayed on. The blog was there when I was giving my board exams, my CAT exam, my LLB entrance and my Bar exam. It was there when I was working on Excel Sheets everyday. It is there when I am working on Word Documents and PDFs everyday.

Perhaps, what is most magical is that I never planned for this to happen. When I started writing in school, I didn't have the slightest whiff that ten years down the line I would still be writing. In fact, I am sure I started writing for some ulterior and materialistic motive of having something interesting on my college application. At that time, it was not about the love of writing or writing for the sake of writing.

I don't remember when that changed.  The blog captured glimpses of my life. It became a time machine. The blog saw my transition from being a theist to an atheist to a theist again. It saw several posts with "I don't know" written in the end. Sermons about the sense of life. In this regard, perhaps, one of the most written subject was that of Death. I suppose any encounter with Death just unsettles you and pushes you into the valley of introspection.

The blog also taught me a fair bit of web designing. When I was in school and college, there was a lot more time at hand and a lot more zeal to experiment with blog themes. I learnt how to add pages, make widgets, conceptualise websites et al. The blog changed from 'Carving a Niche' to 'In Shakespeare's Jeans' to 'Shakespeare's Jeans' to 'Thesaurus' to 'Tales of a Part Time Indian' to [drum roll'Chota Shakespeare'. Later in the life, these web designing skills allowed me to design simple websites for others. Never for money though. My skills weren't that good.

Indeed, this blog is the drawing board of my creative side. It witnessed my creative outbursts - the most of significant of which was Appu's Question. Inspired by Aaron Koblin, I set out to make a visual representation of people's thoughts. I can't imagine redoing that now. And that's one of the most amazing things about that time - I wasn't afraid of trying new things. I was looking at new things, trying new things. I was madly searching for inspiration.

The blog also saw my immersion into politics, especially elections. I started a different blog and wrote on patriotism, civics, faith conversion, cleanliness et al. Government expenditure on advertising was an issue that possessed me and a couple of posts were spent complaining about the criminal waste of public money. Eventually, I gave up - on that particular issue and on politics generally.

Deep down, I am an idealist. I believe that a perfect world can exist. However, the world around us is far from perfect. This blog became my space to vent. I couldn't fathom the reason for the infinite stupidity of humans, myself included (I still can't). But I have come to realise that a reason is not going to help me. The world is not ideal and that is something I need to accept. There is only one thing I can change -  myself.

Often, it is said that writers only write about their life and experiences. Their work is nothing but a reflection of their life and/or life as they view it. I agree. My blog saw my romances, my friendships, my ups, my downs, my hopes and dreams, my reflections and what not.

On pensive and boring days, I go back and read some of my old posts. Without fail, each time, I think to myself - "Rohan, what is this nonsense you've written?" Some of the posts are so bad, that I have even contemplated removing them forever. They are so bad that I can't even read them again. I am glad that a friend of mine counselled me against it. The blog represents an evolution of me. Each post is like a checkpoint. The individual posts might be terrible (even for my eyes), but over a long enough timeline, it represents the phases of my life. This might sound self-obsessed. Nevertheless, it is tad bit beautiful.

I am not a literary expert. But I do think that my writing has improved because of the blog. The blog allowed me to write annoying rhyming poetry. It allowed me to write really bad attempts at magical realism. It allowed me to write in the vernacular. It allowed me to express, without judgement or fear. It satiated a different part of my brain and personality. Readers may dislike or hate me. But the blog never disliked or hated me. The blog never edited or censured me. In that sense, the blog was the perfect companion and publisher. Perhaps, for this reason, if I do ever write a book, I would probably have to self-publish it (also because no one would want to publish such nonsense). Thank you Blogger, thank you Google!

Though at this point, I must say a few words about the "drafts" in my blogger account that never saw the light of day. I apologise for their fate. These posts represent strands of my mind that for one reason or another did not develop into the fabric of a post. In some, I lost interest. In others, I lacked the effort to pen down my thoughts. Yet, in others, I just wasn't sure. The weird little being that's inside each one of us was just not convinced.

In one of my college interviews, the interviewer asked me the difference between maintaining a diary and maintaining a blog. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember saying that a blogger actively wants to be read. A blogger writes to share with the world. I have never had many followers. Most of the time, my readers were my closest friends. And at other times, complete strangers would comment, which felt like cloud nine. Fortunately, 'being read' was never an incentive for me to write. Obviously, it felt amazing when people read and commented and a bit gloomy when people did not. But I kept on writing shamelessly; never assessing why a particular post was liked and why a particular post was not. But of all my readers, one name does stand out. Thank you Vasudha. You've been a part of this journey since the early days and I am glad you stuck around.

I must add that I was never alone in this journey. Friends (Devna Soni, Ganesh Mehta, Ahana Datta among others) would continually join and leave the blogosphere. The presence of a comrade in the vastness of the world wide web gives you that extra bit of confidence that allows you to keep going. You're not alone buddy. I must thank them for their support and love.

Like all awards, I must thank my family. If it were not for them, I don't think I would have been here. I don't discuss my writing with them. I don't even know if they read my posts or not. But that's immaterial. They have given me immense love and it is because of their care and help that I am who  I am. Most importantly, I would like to thank Maa. I can't express in words the debt I owe to her. She's my everything.

Over the last 10 years, my writing has seen great and not-so great works. All the posts are (not) the same to me. So as a 10 year Anniversary Special, I have picked out some of my favourite posts:

समय का अभाव - http://rohan-chawla.blogspot.in/2017/04/blog-post.html
Untitled - http://rohan-chawla.blogspot.in/2008/08/untitled.html
Say what? - http://rohan-chawla.blogspot.in/2014/03/say-what.html
Information Value - http://rohan-chawla.blogspot.in/2012/12/information-value.html

Here's to another 10!

Thank you, dear reader. Thank you.

Chota Shakespeare / Thesaurus