24 December 2011

Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy

What's the point of Fiction? Nothing that a writer ever writes is real. It's always tainted. Tainted by facts, by perspective, by logic. It's never the truth. What's the point of writing lies? Of writing stories that represent what could've happened, what should've happened, what might have happened and never what really happened.


What is Real? Is this Real? Am I dreaming now or Am I dreaming when I sleep? What state of consciousness is real? Are we crazy or are the mentally retarded crazy? Is an Alzheimer patient's perspective real or is our perspective real? Are we real?


What is Love? Is there love? What is hate? Is hate real? Are we born to hate? Or are we born to love? Are emotions justified? Till what extent? What is reason? Is the world reasonable? Is life reasonable? Is there value in reason?


What is Moral? Is it your intuition or is it God's Commandments? Is it the Law? Are some things inherently moral? Are some things more moral than others? Is morality important? Is morality relevant? Is reason morality's enemy?


I don't know. Should I know? Can I know? Will I know? Am I too early to ask? Am I too late to find out? Am I destined to find out? Is there destiny? Is there fate? What is life? What life has meaning? Is meaning important?


I don't know.




Another post is due, that has been indefinitely postponed, till I find a few answers.


To That which is Real. And to All That which is Unreal. And to everything In Between,


Song : Dance Little Liar by The Arctic Monkeys.



15 December 2011

In Conversation with Ganesh Mehta

Scene : Sitting outside a small park in a fairly crowded market, with people staring because they think we are some scholars from JNU discussing issues of world change. Red Bull and not Chai in our hands. Following is a summary of our conversation (and some stuff I added later)!

Democracy and the Perfect System : What does democracy mean to you? It's a system that allows each person to voice out his/her concerns.It's the only system till date that has an exit clause ie: all members of a democracy can actively decide to opt out from the democracy. It is in some ways better than Monarchy and the many systems we have had till date. However, it is not perfect. The promises that democracy makes are only fulfilled at the superficial level. Even though each individual feels he/she is deciding the course of the nation through his/her vote, in real life he/she isn't really doing so. Normal people hate wars. Normal people have right to vote. But their right to vote doesn't lead to no wars, as democratic countries fight wars. People in a democracy don't vote on issues, they vote on candidates. Even though the candidate is the representative of the issue, this extension leads to an increased gap between people and the issue at hand; as political representatives never really survey what their constituency wants, but instead vote with the political party they belong to. But one can also say, that the problem is with human nature, its conquest for greed and its comfort with ignorance. That people ruin the system and that there is nothing wrong with the system itself. But then that's exactly the problem. Either the system should cater to ALL emotions and give all the emotions equal status or it should not respond to emotions AT ALL or it should give priority to both emotions and reason. The perfect system would be one which doesn't lead to diversions from its goal. If democracy is flawed because it caters to emotion, then the next step is to eliminate emotion. If democracy is flawed because people are ignorant, then the next step is to hold them accountable. Is there anything such as the perfect system? We don't know. Perhaps Indus Valley and hunting and gathering were perfect, since there is no record of famine or war. In fact that's what we assume could have been the reason for their decline. But then again what of History do we know? We pretty much assume that this is what it must have been like. Akbar's time had wars, religious conflict and administrative issues, but we have them even now. So how has this transition from one system to an another helped us? It has just given us a fake sense of assurance that our voice has been heard. In fact it goes on to provide a feeling of satisfaction-that what you want is being done, which curbs the desire for finding a new system. So even though there is an exit clause, the system itself preserves itself. The next step from a democracy would be one that forces the individual to think of the collective. A system might be called as perfect if it thinks as a collective. Because then no ones' rights are compromised. A system that might have a referendum on everything might hold each person continuously accountable for issues at hand. That can be the starting point for holding people more accountable. While a democracy focuses on the individual and his rights, the ideal system should focus on the collective and its rights. However the problem is that in both systems, an increase in one set of rights will necessarily lead to a decrease in another set of rights. And therefore there will be reduction and increase. So what is the criteria for a perfect system? A system that no longer perpetuates the problems mankind has been facing. A system that is Utopia. The problem is people have stopped dreaming of Utopia. And think it's unreal. That it cannot be true. And therefore they don't strive for it. Perfection might be impossible. But improvement is always possible.


Humans and the things they Hype : Humans love to hype things. As one of my CAT passages said, it is incredibly hard for humans to think that they are only transitional species on earth and in fact not the center of this whole wide universe, which is not meant for their consumption. Humans love to think they've inherited their parents qualities. There is some extreme value in tradition and things that are vintage. And this is primarily behavioral. You might be talkative, because your schooling was such and your father because his friend circle was such - two totally different independent situations. But no, we would love to say that we inherited this from our parents. I am no scientist, but I don't think there are behavioural genes that are in built into our programming. If that were to be the case, then life is essentially meaningless. Because you are born with a certain set of characteristics which you just cannot change. Even Karma accounts for the scope of improvement. All behaviour is post birth. But this fascination for inheritance exists across all cultures. Do all cultures promote this sort of feeling? Maybe yes. All cultures promote a sense of belongingness. That you have a family, a set of friends, a nation etc. And you constantly want to reinforce that belief. Why do you do that? Because your set up promotes this so you actively look for reasons to justify it. Children are more receptive in their earlier days than rebellious. So if you engrave this system in them, they will take it for true. And when they grow senses of reason, they look for reasons to ratify the same belief of belongingness. This is why adopted children go hunting for their biological parents, because they feel a sense of emptiness. As if they no longer belong. As if they haven't explored themselves fully. As if there is a mystery yet to be found. A feeling of what would I have in common with them. Blame Television for this.


Emotions and it's conflict with Reason : Humans deal with both these aspects in their life. Even though reason is seen as the stronger virtue, there is absolutely no justification for the same. People are emotional. They are designed to feel. As Shakespeare said - You are not wood, you are not stones, but men. If reason was the be all and end all of the world, then what is the difference between robots and humans. But if we were meant only to emote, what would be the difference between animals and us? It would be a value judgement if we say one is superior to the other. Emotion makes one selfless and reason makes one selfish. So like every Saint says, strike a balance. But how? That's a very good question. One can only tell by experience.


Conclusion :
You know people keep asking what keeps India going despite the mess it is in. It's because India is an agrarian economy. As long as you have Food, there is no problem at all. In fact Food and Water. All other things are artificial constructs and can always be eliminated. And can always come down. But food and water are essentials. This is only biological. In fact one more thing. Morality. A sense of right and wrong. And for some reason - religious, traditional, emotional, democratic, rational or any other, Indians have some amount of sensitivity. I am not saying abundant, but some. And that is important too.

1 December 2011

The Big Red Button

It was right there. 5 feet away from her. The Big Crimson Button. She had finally found what mankind had been desiring for ages. More important than the Fountain of Youth, the Elixir of Life, Aladdin's Genie, Cibola and Alice's Wonderland. All her problems would be resolved, all she had to do was to press it. Millions of thoughts went through her head, her journey till now, why she had started off on this journey and how she had easily found it, while the others were still looking.

She thought of her life till now. About her lousy husband, her perpetually annoying children, her few friends, her lack of modernity, her old jewellery, her ugly lawn, her dented nose and so on. All of this would now change. She could have a better life. A new life.

Did she really want this, she thought. "But, even if it is worse, it can't be worse than this!" she heard her inner self say.

She pressed the Reboot Button.

And it started all over again. From the beginning.

A few years later :

It was right there. Some feet away from her. The Big Red Button. She had finally found what humans had been hunting for a few decades. More important than the Holy Grail, Treasure Island, Amber Room, Tutankhamen's Secret and The Gold Bug. All the problems she faced could now be solved, all she had to do was to press it. Lots of thoughts went through her head, her journey till now, why she had started off on this journey and how she had found it, while the others were still looking.

She thought of her life till now. About her lousy boyfriend, her perpetually antagonistic parents, her many friends, her choice of career, her car, her pet, her small breasts and so on. All of this would now change. She could have a better life. A new life.

Did she really want this, she thought. "But, even if it is worse, it can't be worse than this!" she heard her inner self say.

She pressed the Reboot Button.

And it started all over again. From the beginning.

A few years later :

It was right there. A little distance away, one she couldn't measure. The Big Button of some colour. She had finally found what people had been searching for a while. More important than the Elder Wand, Unicorns, Osama Bin Laden, Aliens and Kolaveri Di. All the problems others had created in her life could now be solved, all she had to do was to press it. A few thoughts went through her head, her journey till now, why she had started off on this journey and how she had finally found it, while the others were still lost, waiting for her guidance.

She thought of her life till now. About her lousy girlfriend, her dead parents, her frienemies, her job, her mobile phone, her nails, the excess baggage she carried with a life too meaningful and so on. All of this would now change. She could have a better life. A new life.

Did she really want this, she thought. "But, even if it is worse, it can't be worse than this!" she heard her inner self say.

She pressed the Reboot Button*

And it started all over again. From the beginning.

*Conditions Apply. You will have no memory of your past life, you will have no experiences to make your new life better than this one. And you might come here again. It's a risky job. We recommend you live this one through. That inner self you keep hearing, is the old wicked man in the background. He likes to fuck around with people's lives. No inner self talks like that. Most inner selves talk like this. direct and upfront. Can't help if you're too blind to see. I gave you eyes. 
-Love God.

Watch out for the Reboot Button. You don't know if you'll lead it any differently.

To Sleep. The One and Only Refuge from the Perceived Reality.

Song : I'm Looking Through You -- The Wallflowers

23 October 2011

To Animals. They have some rights.


Song : Phir Se Ud Chala -- Rockstar




"Have it with salt Nani, you'll like it," he said.


"Salt, where is it? I don't see it. It's not here," she said while moving her hand across the white plate to feel any granular substance.


"It's here Grandma," he said pointing at the spot where the salt was.


She bent forward and looked carefully. She then touched the spot and was convinced that it was indeed salt. She took some of it and applied it on the covering of the orange fruit segments that she had just peeled. She then popped one into her mouth.


"Have it. Come on quick," she said to her grandson, almost hitting the plate to his chest. There was a sense of a hurry in her tone, even though in reality there was no hurry at all.


"I have had three of these," he said, adjusting himself such that the sunlight wouldn't hit his eyes directly.


Just then two cats meowed. They were right in front of them. While the humans relaxed in the veranda, the cats splurged themselves on the smooth grass in the mild winter heat. The younger of the cats, moved behind the elder one, slowly and carefully; perhaps scared of the other animals.


"Look at them, sitting over there," Nani pointed out.


He looked carefully at the beautiful creatures. They weren't the best of cats, he thought. They were wild, dirty and dull, not even comparable to magnificent Golden Cats of Egypt or the white snowballs of the movies. But something about them was fascinating. He admired their movement, their style, their presence and most importantly the fact that they had a life, that they were real and living, in a world of their own.


He had always wanted to pet a Cat, but was never able to. They were supposed to be unfaithful, unlucky and unworthy of petting. He remembered the many stories his mother had told him, when she had pet a wild cat. How she would steal milk and feed it to the cat. How the cat would come everyday at the same time. How she gave birth to babies. How she would come under the blanket during the winter and eventually tear the blanket. And of course like all cat stories, how she drank the milk from the kitchen, without asking. He thought that this disobedience and desirous attitude, is probably why he was never allowed to pet a cat.


He now recalled the most favourite part of the story. It was the story after the betrayal. Most Cats are banished after they commit the sin. They are denied food and are scared away. The arrogant animals that they are, they go away and look for some other human to fool. But this one cat, after months of exile returned. His mother would tell him, that when the Cat returned she was ill and thin and uglier than ever. And the mother filled with compassion, gave her lots and lots of milk. He couldn't remember what happened after this. Perhaps, his mother grew up.


Suddenly the Gradmother got up and started collecting the orange peels. And immediately then the cat jumped and crossed the wall. In a flash of second, the elder cat was gone. The younger one hid behind one of the garden pots, unable to jump that high.


"Look how she jumps. Ram ki Leela ko dekh," the grandmother said with a huge smile.


He looked and smiled.


His phone started ringing loudly, disturbing the peace of the moment.


"Where is this sound coming from?" his grandmother asked.


He looked at the phone and sighed. It read :


"Mock CAT 2:30pm"


Cat. Billi.







CAT. Common Aptitude Test.






Wish me luck?



5 October 2011

Step-ember.

September is the only month in the whole year in which I don't blog. Even in 2009, the post was actually written in October. I have no reason or explanation for this. I think its the mid-year crisis (even though its the end of the third quarter). This coupled with my mid-blogger life crisis, explains the fewer and fewer words I use in my posts (Have a close look at the previous posts, they all have pictures and they all have lines written by someone else). Vasudha must be having a terrible time, because she reads these posts in her mail and no pictures are displayed out there. Sorry!


So coming back to September. A careful study of the last two years (which only I can do), shows that it has always been a crazy month. In 2009, I got intoxicated for the first time. In 2010, I attended a couple of parties (one of which I absolutely regret). In 2011, I had no alcohol (which is a good thing), and people stopped inviting me to their parties or after work chilling sessions or once a week lunch. I guess I had more to do with this, than them. So this year has been crazy too, just in a very very different way.


Another very interesting thing about September is that it has my birthday. When I was young, my birthday used to mean a lot to me and I would be thoroughly disappointed because no one else I knew was born during this time. Now, thanks to Facebook I know too many. So my young kid side of the brain, no longer feels special. Another reason to dislike this month, it failed my unreasonable paradoxical (Because I wanted other people to be born during this month and when too many were born I felt bad) expectation.


Yet another terrible thing is the weather. Its starts to change. And Homo Sapiens are inadequate to deal with this change. We have to rely on things like clothes. Had we not invented clothes, we would have developed a fur and then women won't have to get themselves waxed (in some cases, men too). 


September is also the ninth month of the year. Thats 3*3. I hate 3. Therefore, it's a numerological defect.


Since you've read so much, I will now write something of real meaning.


"Living is easy with eyes closed.." (Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles)


I am unsure if ignorance is bliss. To have not known something, would it have made us happier? Lets say Idea X gave me some amount of happiness and Idea Y gave me some more amount of happiness. Without the knowledge of Y, I was happy; but now that I know Y, I have to struggle to achieve it.  And is that unhappiness worth the additional happiness? The most beautiful thing about whatever I have said till now is that there is no Math in the whole wide world, that can help solve it. So you'll have to think of your own everyday examples.


There are two very important things that come out of the above. One is that I assumed that everyone is happy (with Idea X), the larger question being how do we decide if we are happy? And the second being what made people think Y would give more happiness? I don't think people generally have answers to either. I don't think its possible to weigh how much effort will yield how much happiness and how much happiness is worth with respect to effort invested. If I don't know which one will make me better off, why should I take the risk? The fact that Y will give you more happiness, will always be an experience of the other. 


Samajh nahi aaya na?


I was using a shit phone till Class 12. I never knew the joy of texting because it was really annoying to type on that phone. Yet, I had no desire to text or to get a better phone. Then I scored a 100 in Math and there had to be a gift. So I bought a Smartphone (Not knowing anything about its smart features). Now, when I have to buy another phone, it has to be smart. I cannot go back to where I was. The fact that a better phone would make me happy was not mine, for I never had a better phone. The fact that Democracy is awesome, can only be said by a democratic state. But will you eventually be happy? Maybe not. Because that idea will change who you are and not the other way around.


You would now say, that this is normal progress. One goes from the inferior to the superior. From worse to better. But what was worse about early man? And what is superior? An LV Bag? Or Food to those who are dying? Look at our lives right now and compare it to what it was when were naked hunters. I think our level of happiness is still the same. But our level of stress has increased. Change from one set of ideas to another set of ideas, can only be justified if it leads to an increase in happiness.  And if there has been no increase in happiness since naked early man time, then we are fucked up.


I have just one last thing to say.


Would it have been better had I not told you this? Had you not known this?


To September. Always a few days too less.


Song : Lag Jaa Gale --- Lata Mangeshkar

25 August 2011

It's all about the Sex.

For most people, it is. They don't know it, they don't accept it and the worst is that they don't realize it. I am not accusing anyone. I am not saying sex is a bad thing. But it's not the only thing in life.

Lets look at the things that are sexed up in our lives. The most amusing jokes are about sex (F.R.I.E.N.D.S. mostly revolved around the sexual and romantic lives of the characters). The most effective abuses are about sex with your own mother/sister. The culmination of any relationship is the act of sex (From Child Abuse to the First Night--Suhaagraat). People have sex in airplanes, bathrooms, on the floor, standing, sitting etc. We have a huge industry that caters just to sex--Prostitution, Pornography, Sex Toys, Contraceptives, NGOs for Pro Life and Pro Choice etc. We have spared no one. We are having sex. Animals are having sex (with themselves and in some cases, with us). Even, children are having sex (again, sometimes with themselves and in some cases, with us grown ups). Young People are having sex, sometimes by choice and sometimes by force, and sometimes it just happens. Men are masturbating (some strong boys claiming to as much as 14 times a day). Women are masturbating. Everyone is Sexing.

So what about Sex makes it so fundamental to our lives, that not one day goes by that we don't think of Sex. Most people assume that Sex is a need. That the body needs this sort of pleasure and that it demands it. Fair Enough. The body produces hormones (My biology isn't the best, but I think hormones are responses to Stimulus. And the same stimulus can have different reactions from different people. Thus there is nothing that can be universally sexual.) Now if Sex were a need, like food, water and love, if one were denied it, one would die or lead a pathetically miserable life of disgust and no human dignity. Many people claim that they are celibate and it is not my business to spy their lives, which don't look so devoid of dignity, to see if they are truly celibate. So if there is no example of whether or not one would die if one did not have sex, I urge you to experiment it in your life. Start with a week, and see how dire a need it is. 

Lets look at it from another perspective. If our bodies were meant to enjoy sex or had sex has a need, it must then would have evolved into something that would facilitate the same. I am not saying "God willed it this way!", I am just saying what Darwin said (Again, Biology could be bad!) Nothing within/of the body allows us to have sex and not start the baby process. Condoms, contraception, surgeries etc are all external things that allow us to have "stress free" sex. Now the fallacy in this argument is that, we should stop taking all sorts of medicines because they are external, and if our bodies are meant to tackle a disease, only then will we truly "deserve" to live. Of course, this does not happen. Also, there is nothing to say that we won't evolve into "free sex creatures".

But what about other animals? Is Sex such an issue only with Humans, because of our ability to think or do animals see Sex as a pleasure too? Animals don't have contraception, so whenever they do it, they create babies. And animals have long "dry" periods, because their bodies have reproduction constraints. So they mate far lesser than humans do.
   
I think what I have been trying to say is that, sex is a "need" created by the mind, and not necessarily a bodily need. There could be an urge to procreate and have babies (that I think is also arguable), but not an urge to have sex. Look at all our problems. Obesity--Too Much Food. Addictions--Too much bad stuff. Shopping--Too Much Acquisition. Greed, profit, wastage. The list is endless. All of this, is a product of the mind--reckless mind.

Coming back, so what will happen if we de-sex our lives? Will we be happier? Will we channelize our energies towards better things? I think yes. The reason why most spiritual guides talk about the abstinence from sex, is because it is indeed the hardest. Through out this article, I have not been able to prove whether or not sex is a need, and that's how close it comes to becoming a need. Imagine being able to control that. Imagine having full control over a pseudo-need. If you can do that, you can control anything that is not a need. You are then not dependent on anything. Moksha.

But why do we sex it all up in the first place? Even the two great epics are full of sex and scandal--the public humiliation of Draupadi to the banishment of Sita. It's simple. It feels good. It is like any other sort of addiction.

But you would say--What about the Kamasutra-that's a guide to sex? Look carefully. It's Yoga. It's probably meant to deter you from having sex.

It's all about the sex. 

22 August 2011

The Best Day of My Life.

Janamasthmi is the best day of the year.


I love it. I like it more than any birthday. Even my own. In fact its the only birthday I celebrate!


I don't do anything special today. But I just feel special. Like you feel love.


And not just that, but feel powerful too. Mentally. Like a stronger person.


It just makes me happy. Very Happy.


Nothing makes me this expressively happy.


Happy Birthday! :D


This is dedicated to Paarthsaarthi.


Song : Ud Jayega -- Kumar Gandharva.


And then at midnight, when the dark is at its peak,
He was born, to guide us into dawn.
Like the virtues will one day overcome the vices,
And the good will transcend into the new world,
But only to end again and start again,
And yet He will always be there.
Immortal and Invincible.
Like the energy in us, in you and in me.
A reflection of Himself and Everyone Else.


Hare Krishna.



30 July 2011

Fools and Kings.

Joker.
Debater.
Good For Nothing.
Mentally Sick.
Singer.
Storyteller.
Cartoon.


I will miss you, Sir. Each time we receive knowledge, we incur a debt. And the only way to pay back this debt is to spread the knowledge. I hope I am able to spread the lessons you taught me. Not Just of Economics. I will miss you.


Song : 500 Miles--Peter, Paul and Mary.


Every end has a beginning. Meet Jibber Jabber. (Click to See!) This one is to all my teachers.

Are you listening?

People value their opinions. We think our thoughts are important. And we like being heard. It hurts us when someone dismisses our thoughts or refuses to listen or disobeys us. We like our view of the world and wish that it was in fact the only view of the world.


There has been lots of debate on Anna Hazzare's fasts and the methodologies of India Against Corruption. There have been even more debates on the Lokpal Bill. And far too many on the Prime Minister's Faggot-ry. But what are the outcomes of these debates? Do people grasp the concepts and ideas exchanged/written? Do they make for good tea time bragging? Or are they meant to appreciate the speaker/writer's oratory/writing? What are we thinking when Prime Time Debate is aired? "Kya badiya sawaal poocha Barkha ne" "Kya jawaab diya Kapil Sibal Ne" Is it a Game of Chess? Or Age of Empires?


There is nothing that you can do that will force people to think objectively about an issue. Even at crucial points like elections, we just vote. No Manifestos. No Past Record. No Personal Details. We just land up at the booth to ink our fingers. Because we like our opinion being recorded. Do we like being held accountable for it?


Due to some freak of nature, I live in Kapil Sibal's constituency. Now, the Anna Gang decided that we'll hold a door to door referendum in the households of Kapil's constituency. The questionnaire (Click to See) contains almost all the conflict areas of the Two versions of the Lokpal Bill. After the survey, they are going to shove the results in Kapil Sibal's Face and say, "Now tell us, will you vote in Parliament on the basis of what your people have decided in this survey (Refer Ques 8) or on what Madame President (not Patil) tells you to. Check (Chess wala).


Are they going to ask poor people or rich people, I don't know. I know that they came to my home and all the three adults filled in their answers. My Mother had some trouble filling it coz well she's never filled an OMR sheet. I observed two things. She was sentimental about some answers. But that's true for almost everything else, including voting. (This is a logical fallacy. You can't justify a wrong by simply saying that other similar wrongs exist. Sophistry) The other thing was that she asked me things she didn't understand. How reliable a source I am, is out of the question, but the point is that she asked. I think that the referendum at least made us think once as to what really the issue is and that do we really have an opinion on it. Nothing else has ever had that effect on People.


As much as we like being heard, we are also afraid of being judged. This is the answer to the question I asked before. We don't like being held accountable for our opinions. We don't like being told we made the wrong choices. This is why, even I flinched twice. I don't know if this referendum will be used or misused. But for once, people will be held accountable for their opinion. If the proposed Anna Lokpal goes through, and God forbid it turns out to be a monster, we can finally BLAME the people. It would be their fault. Akal thikane aa jaayegi. And if it does not turn into a Frankenstein, well wo-ho! Bye Bye Corruption!


All Democratic Institutions have an exit route. You can collectively decide to no longer obey the collective. The most fundamental principle of a democracy is people's opinion. And if people decide, for whatever reason (rational or crap), that they want to give up their opinion, this has to be upheld. As much as any hero would like to fight against such a rogue idea, which would kill a democracy, he cannot. He would be fighting for people's opinion in general which is against the current opinion of the people. You can only pray. And do good. What is Good? People's Good. Opinion or No Opinion, people are still hungry and dying. Help them?


A democracy collectively decided to appoint a dictator.


Look around carefully and you'll realize that the above is very likely.


Opinions are important. Welcome to Jibber Jabber.

Addendum : This came with the newspaper on July 31st 2011.





27 July 2011

Jibber Jabber.

Don't worry the old blog is not dying. It's not even in ICU. It's not on a vacation either. It is however on its usual mid-year crisis.

Why A New Blog?

Of late, I have been thinking of current issues. Things that bother me. Stuff that's happening in the world. So I thought I'd make a separate blog for the same. This is not a newspaper. This is not an editorial page. This is also not a debating website. It is also not a unique blend of the three. Its just, jibber jabber.

I define things in the negative. New thing I learnt about myself :)

I am scared that I won't blog enough. But there is only one way to overcome that fear, to blog a lot. Only time will tell what comes out of this.

I am scared this is my way of escaping something. Weird feeling.

I am worried. About the world. 

Anyway. Stick around for the first post!

Rohan Chawla

9 July 2011

Eulogy.

To Moto Q9h. I knew your time was coming. But I didn't think you'd leave me like that. But I guess that which goes, goes. There is no how did it happen? It just happens. To the Good Times, coz that's all that matters and it is all that's left.


Read at your own risk.


Mensch was watching her carefully. Her hair, her face and her style mesmerized him. He was spellbound. He could feel the tension between them. He just could not wait any longer. But Klimmer would always stop him. He'd never personally tell Mensch to stay away from her, but Klimmer's own love for Gabriel and her reciprocity, was enough to keep him at bay.


Mensch walked up to Klimmer and :


M : I love her more than you ever will.
K : So, what do I do? You should tell her that.
M : And what if she leaves you after that?
K : Then she leaves me and you can have her.
M : You will do nothing to make her stay?
K : You fall in love and you fall out of love. And neither is in your control. So if she falls out of love, she falls out love. What can I do about that? Maybe I'll fall in love with someone else.
M : What if she cheats on you?
K : Then I'll forgive her.
M : You wouldn't be jealous if you saw me with her?
K : What is gone is gone. 


And then there was a gunshot.


Ending 1 :


M : You're a fearless man. And your time had come.


Ending 2 :


M :  You are a fear...less man.


K : And that's why she's with me. Not with a mass of flesh on the ground.


Ending  3 :


M : You are a fearless man. And I love you.


Her white dress was now stained with blood.


K : Well, what is gone is gone. Your place or mine?




I'll miss you Moto. We had some really good times. And as much as it hurts that it was an economic loss, what has happened has happened. Sunk Cost. Abh bas aage soch sakte hain.


Song : Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by Cab Calloway.



5 June 2011

Scope of Public-Private Partnership in Education

Vasudha once asked me to write on a Current Issue. I don't know if this counts as one, but I have read it and think its worth more than an Archive file at CCS Applicant Essays. To the Future CCS Applicant, I hope they're not as uptight and stuck up as they were this time. I can be vindictive.


Introduction


Once upon a time in a land not far away, the government was facing lots of problems, one of them being Education. The government created lots of schools and universities to help deal with the problem. However, they were so overworked that they were unable to provide quality education. They then resolved to encourage other people to set up institutes, by the way of tax subsidies, free land etc. This led to a huge spurt in the education sector. Despite this growth and the government’s affirmative action for the underprivileged, quality education for everyone is still a problem in India.


Issue


There are four primary factor inputs in education--management, teachers, curriculum and infrastructure. These factors have longed favoured the private sector. Teachers in India are mostly middle-class and they prefer a higher salary. Those who don’t, choose their employer based on reputation, which under status quo, government schools lack. The management (i.e. Principal, Managers, and Directors) in Government aided institutions take their position like an ordinary job. They are often transferred from one school to another, as if the operations of both are synonymous. The problem with infrastructure is directly linked with funding. India has never explicitly received any loan/aid from international sources for the purpose of building educational infrastructure. Finally, curriculum is the same in both areas but what differs is its implementation, a by-product of the above three factors.


Possible Solutions


Privatisation is not just big companies with lots of capital. The first step should be a change in the management of educational institutes. The management of private schools are mostly composed of individuals who were related to the founding of the school. More simply put, if I purchased a franchise of the Delhi Public School, then by the virtue of my investment, I would be a part of that franchise’s management body. Similarly, the public school management must now have a stake in the school. This private partnership can be from a company, individual, partnership etc. Again, whoever makes this investment, by the virtue of the return will be involved in the activities of the school. Based on the profit and performance, give a return on investment/interest on capital to the investor.


The next step should be upgradation of infrastructure-technology, furniture, walls etc. If there is a shortage of funds, then one can invite funds from the public via infrastructure bonds, just like we have bonds in the name of farmers, bridges and dams. How will we redeem them? An educated workforce in the long run leads to inflow of income, by the virtue of their employment and intellect. Think of the reduced corruption and the increased tax assesses. Lets have a voluntary disclosure of income, the last one got is 7800 Crores. Let a tender be published for a mass infrastructure improvement in all schools, invite private companies and then offer it to the lowest bidder. And Kalmadi will not handle this.


Teacher training and curriculum are fundamental aspects of education and allowing the private sector to handle them should be avoided. Privatising infrastructure and management alone will improve the quality of education manifold.


Analysis


The potency of the government functioning is the biggest challenge in the implementation. Moreover, a person who has a direct stake in the school functioning might go out of the way to show good results, sometimes fudging records. The same however cannot be eliminated in status quo. Further, a public school still faces competition from its private counterparts. Seeing the above two plans implemented, their response will be of bettering their services (and consequently increasing their fees); making them an elitist group for the rich, much like in the USA. This sort of division is not to be encouraged in the field of education.


Privatisation should be an upward process. The first beneficiaries of the moves must be the youngest children. Just like how schools are formed, one class at a time, similarly, this move must be in phases, from bottom to top. This way when they enter a new class, they’re equipped with skills to deal with good infrastructure. However this means that under status quo, we consider the elder students as a sunk cost.


Conclusion


Is there an alternative? There could be many. Perhaps privatising the whole unit could do more good. Is the investment worth it, in terms of a return? In monetary terms, one can never assess the true benefits of education. Can you measure the life skills one learns? That you no longer have to ask someone else to fill your bank slip? Education is the escape route to a better standard of living. But is that the government’s burden? Should the private players agree to not make profits? One can only wonder. Until then, there is a long way for our happily ever after.


There are some spelling/grammar errors. I didn't bother to check again. Sorry. They are minute.


Song : Every Teardrop is a Waterfall by Coldplay It's their NEW SONG. I don't like it a smuch, got a Techno feel to it. But EEEE! It's a New Song! :D :D


I hope you like it. The Song :P



27 May 2011

Moment.

Time has passed, and I have loved many women.
And as they've held me close...
And asked if I will remember them I've said, "Yes, I will remember you. "
But the one I've not forgotten is the one who did not ask-- Malena.
*

We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; when we get that car or that job or that person in our lives that’ll fix everything. But happiness is a mood and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry; it’s not permanent. It comes and goes but that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness a lot more often.

 So you think it’s okay to be a little miserable every now and then? Even when you have great things in your life?

 Is it okay to be a little hungry now and then?

*

The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second, it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward, and you win. Or maybe it doesn't, and you lose.


Oh my God, I'm getting pulled over. Everyone, just... pretend to be normal. 

*




Song : Dhoop ke Makaan (Acoustic)

26 May 2011

All you need is Love, Love is all you need.

To The CAT Word List of the Day. This is all because of you.


In her covert style, she removed each of her habiliments. The soft satin slowly flowed against her willowy body. Despite the enchanting beauty of her skin, his eyes were fixed on her face; as if nothing had changed. They knew the effect that they had on each other. His sedate expression would leave her confused and wanting to do more. Her carefully carried out moves would challenge all the patience and passion in him. It was like a game they played with the other's mind. 

The ramshackle condition of the place was all that was left. The scent of sweat, the rococo of the arrangement and the love of the act had all diffused. It reacquired its original form, and waited to be alive again.

The Way Young Lovers Do.

I hope you like the New Theme.


Nothing beats a Blog Post after a Really Bad Exam. Not even Free Beer.


Lots of things have gone and lots of things might come. I hope to write more, but I say that every year.


Song : Robert Plant & Alison Krauss- Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)


Thanks for sticking around. Means a lot.


ChotaShakespeare.

13 May 2011

Decay.

I had my CCS Internship Interview today. I realized something while I was at it.


Have you ever been to a dentist? Most dental clinics have a step by step diagram of how cavities happen. Usually when we have too much sweet and don't brush, we start developing germs in our teeth. One of the signs of a cavity is when food starts sticking in our teeth. Most people just ignore this and find a way around it; sticking our finger inside or using a toothpick. Soon the cavity grows deeper and at some point it starts hurting us. But the pain is erratic and then we tell ourselves, no it must be the sinus infection or the wisdom teeth are coming or maybe it was just hurting that day or we just sleep it off. We still don't go to the doctor. Eventually, our teeth become sensitive and they hurt whenever we have anything cold or hot. Now is when we go to the market and purchase a different toothpaste. But that also fails to relieve us. We bear the pain for a few more weeks because we don't have time. And then we finally go to the doctor.


The doctor examines the infected tooth. He nods disapprovingly. He tells us what a Root Canal Treatment is and how horrible, lengthy and expensive a procedure that is. He asks us why we didn't come earlier and why we didn't try to fix the pain. We just look around because we don't have an answer. We then get the root canal done, but that too in installments, still threatening that poor tooth. The doctor informs us that we have other cavities as well, but well we respond to them at our own convenience. 


After the damn thing is over, we get back home. We take a sigh of relief and promise to ourselves that we will take care of our teeth. But of course who has the time to brush at night. So at some point in time, this tooth or one of the other has to be extracted. We get rid off the bloody thing. And the killer is-->We still wonder if it was really our fault.


This is a story based on true events and bitter experiences.


Now, thats how we treat our own tooth. Imagine, how we would treat society's problems. We just don't give a fuck. It doesn't matter to us who is hungry or dying or being cheated. It doesn't matter to us. If we don't have time and effort for our own tooth, do you think we have time and effort for anyone else? We don't even have a spare thought for them. And that is precisely why we are in a mess. We've stopped getting Mad. We've stopped caring. We've stopped feeling. We've become immune to the pain. But never to the decay. We're becoming less human with each passing second. And one day, not far, like we extracted that tooth, we're going to extract all human-ness out of us. And then we'd die.


This is Why India is Poor.


Song Dedication--> Abh Khud Kuch Karna Padega -- Strings and Atif Aslam.


To The Interviewer. 



1 April 2011

Blindfolded.

To The Capitalists, Socialists, Anarchists, Dictators and other members of the Illuminati.

Song : Dustbowl Dance by Mumford and Sons.

People are dying.
I have a World Cup Match to watch.
People are homeless.
Gurgaon or Noida or Gk-II, for my Part 2?
People are hungry.
Chinese or Italian or Thai?
People are illiterate.
I have to finish a Blog Post.

People are voting.
People are losing.
People are blind.
Hail Democracy.
May We Rest in Peace.

Money, Money, Money. 
Money is all we got.
Money is all we want.
Fuck you.
Money, Money, Money.


2012, I hope we die.
I don't help you, you don't help me.
Life is shit--No Love or Care.
Auf Weidersehn, is all I have left to say.


No Utopia, No Earth-2.
No Technology, No Intelligence.
No Change, Just Limbo.
Blame You or Me?
Or His Will?
Or Perhaps Your Own.




Not a Funny April Fools Joke, eh?



19 March 2011

His Cursed Blessing.

I wrote this when I was in Class 11. Africa Week in School. Our House was assgined Madagascar as country. Here Goes :

Born in a family of six illiterates,
I am Radama the youngest.
They say this is Eden in disguise,
But the youth seems to argue.

It's due to your fancy, My Lord,
For what Madagascar is today-
Poor, Miserable, Underdeveloped and
Lost somewhere in the quest for modernization.

What Flora is this Lord,
Has to be slashed & burnt for food?
What fauna is this I ask You,
Has to be sold for mere pennies.

I don't want snow-peaked mountains,
But sky-hugging structures.
I don't want birds from paradise,
But wish to fly with the iron vulture.

This is not my voice, My Lord,
It's the solidarity of Our Youth.
We don't crave for a green environment,
But for the greatest development.

I am not ashamed to say this,
But if I were to be born again,
It's my plea to you Lord,
Let it not be this Hellish Paradise.

13 February 2011

Who Stole The Ink?


"Through my Lens."



"Here is the best portrait that, later, I was able to make of him."


"Eleven Rotten Eggs."

"A constant unfolding of the Self."

Song : 5 Years Time--Noah and The Whale.

To Gary. Coz I too suck at saying Thank You.